Kristen vs. Lindsay

Lindsay Rose: Hooray!

Profile Picture Analyzer!

I analyzed my picture and got this result!

Sexy: 135%

Beauty: 98%

Cool: 19%

Smarts: 56%

Kristen: These numbers are horribly incorrect. According to math and science, you cannot be above 100% sexy. You can be 100% or lower in sexiness, or any other category. Now, we all know you can't be 135% sexy, 98% beauty, 79% cool and 56% smarts all at the same time for the total obviously exceeds 100%. I have, however, come up with a solution for you. I added all these numbers together which totaled 368. I took that number and divided it by four, to get the average percentage which was 92. So, what I am saying is that 92% of you is sexy, beauty, cool AND smarts. The other 8% is air. I hope that my calculations can satisfy both you and mathematics and the same time. Good day.

Lindsay: I'm afraid that I analyzed your photo and everything came back as 0%. I added up all of your numbers and your average was 0%. I have never seen scores this low. The old lady from Titanic got a higher score than you. Sorry for your sadly depressing low score.

Sincerely,

Lindsay

Kristen: With which system did you use to tally this score? I'm afraid that your machine and/or system is faulty. I know that because I sent an infrared scan into your computer, which shot out the USB port. It scanned the contents of your mind and surrounding area, and determined that you are not accurate in your analysis. I'm sorry that you are not as scientific or mathematic as the average genius. I'm afraid I will have to report this to the Scientific Mathematic, Art Resolution Team (SMART). In the best of circumstances, your genius ID card will be revoked. At worst, you face a minimum of 5 years in a corrections facility. Perhaps you can get out early for good behavior.

Good luck,

Dr. K-Town Goodyface.

Lindsay: I'm afraid that there has been a technical issue with your scanning device as when it was analyzed the only thing in the room was a teddy bear and some Tic Tacs. My computer is now immune to any scanning devices, throw up, and it us water proof. I also attatched fins on my computer so I can look up structures of the ear and hunting licenses while I am under water, training mermaids the proper method to tail swimming.

Sincerely,

Lindsay

Kristen: Thank you for proving in your post that you are not genius material. Your grammar is atrocious. This will also be reported to SMART. They do not look kindly upon those that imitate geniuses. It is a capital offense. I'm afraid the corrections time will be upped. I'm truly sorry for you and your terrible misuse of this wonderful language.

Your pal,

Prof. Smarty SmartSmart 

Lindsay: I used my iPod to post that comment and as I have horrendously huge fingers it is very hard to work with such small buttons.

Sincerely,

Lindsay

Kristen: Well, every genius knows to check their work.

Lindsay: I apologize as I expect technoloy to obey my thouhts as I have programmed my computer, Wii, and tv to do so. I have not yet programmed my iPod to read my thoughts as it takes 6 weeks of training the device to do so.

Sincerely,

Lindsay

Kristen: I am unsure if this was on purpose, but you misspelled 'technology' and 'thoughts'. Any genius knows how to train their products in under one hour. Your genius status was obviously a fake. Please deny the statement that you are a genius, and I am sure your prison time will be reduced ever so slightly.

Yours,

Justice of the United States Supreme Court Krunketykrunk 

Lindsay: I'm afraid that every genius society has revoked you as a member as you must know that all touch technology takes six weeks to bend touch technology to your will. Without this knowledge you cannot pass the genius status standardized test as this knowledge was given to you so you are no longer eligible to even take the standardized test. If you have taken a test without this question, then it is a fake standardized test, and therefore does not have the official genius standardized test watermark.

Sincerely,

Lindsay

Kristen: Nice try, Ms. Run on sentences.

Love,

Scientist Rodeo Woman K-face.

Lindsay: Run on sentences are an example of moving forward without stopping. Every genius knows that, but as you do not fall into that category you wouldn't know.

Sincerely,

Lindsay

P.S. They are not called run on sentences by the way. They are called future lines.

Kristen: I am sorry to inform you that, indeed, there are run on sentences. Even sub-par geniuses are aware of this fact. For your information, I am now president in full of SMART. I would appreciate you turning in your genius ID card peacefully. I would hate to resort to violence.

Go In peace,

SMART president kiss face Kristen.

Kristen: Speechless, eh? Just as I thought.

Lindsay: I'm afraid that the so called 'SMART' organization that you speak of does not exist. You are now a criminal due to the fact that you have created a secretive violent organization. Also as you have confessed to being the leader of the highly illegal group, you will be shot first.

Sincerely,

Lindsay

Peter: Wow, I'm getting a headache trying to follow this. Good thing I was never a genius. :)

Kristen: Well, I've never accused you of being a genius. Hahahahaha.