Evaluation of Prepress and Print Production

For those of you that don't know, Prepress and Print Production refers to preparing files for printing so they don't print out looking insane. This class focused on using Adobe InDesign, which is a program made specifically for page layout. 

In this class there was a particularly annoying student that everyone hated. I refer to her a few times in this survey. This particular student is a typical dumb blond stereotype. She has the brat voice and complained constantly, often about how she hates creating things even though she is studying to be a Graphic Designer. She also told the professor that she hated his class, and she tried to bribe the professor and other students to do assignments for her. 

How can this class be improved?
Well the first thing that comes to mind, is to not schedule it at 8:00 am. As a creature of the night this made me feel slightly homicidal, which made me snippy about assignments, and much less tolerable of my classmates. I'm thinking of one classmate in particular, but I'm fairly certain that the entire class has mutual feelings toward this particular individual. I feel like if this person had been thrown out or at least muzzled in some way, that would have improved the class. 

What were the greatest strengths of this course?
I actually learned a lot about print preparation, and I feel like I learned more about InDesign. I've gotten to the point where I feel physically ill when someone gives me a file that really should have been put together in InDesign. So I guess this course has given me a new source of nausea that most people won't understand, which further ostracizes me from the general public. But I suppose using the words nausea and ostracizes in the same sentence has a similar effect. 

What were the greatest strengths of this instructor?
His ability to refrain from punching students (well, one student. Let's be honest) directly in the face. Way to keep your job, sir!

The Omegle Adventures Part VII

A roundup of the highlights of my Omegle.com trolling for the evening. I suffered, so you better enjoy it.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello

Stranger: hello there :)

You: Ew

Stranger: F, 18, from Virginia. wanna see~me~nakedd?? ;)

You: No. Do you have any chocolate?

Stranger: here's my priivatecamm ➞ 438279.NODIE.CC

You: I said no you ignorant slut.

Stranger: I'll put on a little ~xxxshow~ for you babe ;)

Stranger: ok, meet~me~there :)

You: Stop it. Answer the chocolate question.

Stranger: ~Ashley

You: Unless your chocolate is named Ashley, I'm not interested.

Stranger has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello

Stranger: hey, whats up?

Stranger: 17... f,

Stranger: do you want to kik me instead?

You: No

You: I wouldn't mind kicking you though.

You: See what I did there?

Stranger has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello

Stranger: hey, whats up?

Stranger: 17... f,

Stranger: do you want to kik me instead?

You: Oh it's you again.

Stranger has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello

Stranger: hiii

Stranger: M

You: Mountain?

Stranger: male here

You: Have you noticed how the letter M actually looks like a mountain?

You: Except for the McDonalds M of course. That's what happens when a mountain eats way too much saturated fat.

Stranger: Ohhh really u notice this

Stranger: great. ..

Stranger: chit I ya

You: Indeed.

Stranger: where u from. ...

You: I'm from Carb Mountain.

You: What's with all the dots after all of your sentences?

Stranger:

Stranger: heya

You: Oh well that clears everything up for me.

Stranger: u have any problems

You: Such as?

Stranger: why who r u???

Stranger: u have it... i don't care

You: I sense a cocaine addiction.

Stranger has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hello

Stranger: hey

Stranger: what's your name

Stranger: ??

You: Zulu

You: Queen of the Dwarves

Stranger: ooo

You: And your name?

Stranger: pulea

Stranger: king of shadows

Stranger: :))

You: Your smiley face has a double chin. How very American of you.

Stranger: i'm not american

Stranger: =))

You: Well your smiley faces are clearly American. Their chins are a dead giveaway.

Stranger: i don't care about their double chin

Stranger: :))

Stranger: what movies do you like

You: I don't know right off. What about you?

Stranger: well i love adam sandler's movies so comedy types

You: I like anything Tina Fey is involved in.

You: Except for Admission. That movie was terrible.

Stranger: i didn't saw it

Stranger: but i'm waitting for this new one

You: Well I don't recommend you go 'saw' it.

You: Which movie?

Stranger: pfa

You: PFA?

Stranger: don't know it's name

You: Well who's in it?

Stranger: :))

Stranger: that's not the name of the movie

You: I assumed not.

Stranger: the cobbler

You: Hmm

Stranger: but i'm not sure of it

You: I see.

Stranger: hey do you have a facebook profile

Stranger: ??

You: Yeah.

Stranger: could you give it to me if you want

You: Why?

Stranger: maybe we'll talk and other times

You: You're not going to stalk me are you?

Stranger: from where

Stranger: :))

Stranger: roumania

Stranger: i think not

You: Internet stalking. It's a thing.

Stranger: well don't worry i don't know how to do that

You: I think I would rather not give you a link to my Facebook.

Stranger: oke

You: No offense.

Stranger: nope

You: Well good.

You: I think.

Stranger: :)

Stranger: why just to think

Stranger: it's fine

Stranger: i'm a stranger don't worry

You: I wasn't planning on it.

Stranger: :))

Stranger: what to give your facebook

You: What?

Stranger: you weren't planning for what

Stranger: and my answer was to give you facebook

You: Talking to you is like talking to a vomiting dictionary.

Stranger: well then i'll leave

Stranger: bye

Stranger has disconnected.

Evaluation of Media Management

How can this class be improved?
Well right off, I'd ditch all the ridiculous quizzes. Those forced me to memorize a bunch of junk I don't have any particular interest for, which means I remember none of it. The open book quizzes weren't much better, since I felt like every question was a trick. I don't think that's the point of a quiz. We're trying to learn stuff not get out of Wonderland. It shouldn't be tricky business. But what do I know? I've only been going to school for forever. 

What were the greatest strengths of this course?
The textbook was an excellent way to make me fall asleep/question every decision I have ever made in my life. I don't think that answers the question, but I don't care because it's a stupid question. 

What were the greatest strengths of this instructor?
He was really cooperative. He worked with me (and the other students) really well. He laughed at his own jokes though. That made me question his intentions. Not that that matters much. I just feel weird when people laugh at their own jokes when no one else laughs.

Evaluation of Criminal Profiling

How can this class be improved?
I personally didn't like that participation was required. But that's probably because I hate everyone, so don't take my word for it.

What were the greatest strengths of this course?
Well I now have the ability to profile everyone I meet. So clearly something was done right in this class. I've always been able to tell an idiot right away, but now I can tell that they're an idiot as well as diagnose the cause of them being an idiot (I'm fun at parties).

What were the greatest strengths of this instructor?
His teaching style encouraged actual learning instead of memorizing a bunch of junk just to get through a class. I learned a lot about myself and my motivation for things (usually sleep and avoiding the general public). He was extremely educated in the subject he taught, and that was obvious. Also, I could see him profiling me and the other people in the class when he spoke to us. It was great, because I knew right off that he knew that I am introverted and rude. Hats off to you Mr. Eschler. 

Evaluation of 2D Design

How can this class be improved?
I really liked this class. I will be completely honest. The teaching was excellent for a class like this. It was more about giving some direction to go in and creating something that was expressive of yourself. This was so refreshing from a lot of my other classes where the professor barks orders at you, and keeps your project to the letter rather than actually teaching us to use our brains and create something new. My one comment though for something that I didn't like; there was one weird lady with psychotic teeth that had an exorcism head that turned completely around to grin at me. That was really uncomfortable. So basically discourage weird teethed people from looking at me. 

What were the greatest strengths of this course?
Like I said, the teaching method was excellent. We were given constructive criticism, and it was presented in a way that didn't make you feel stupid or inadequate. We were given plenty of time for projects, and it wasn't overwhelming. I feel like a lot of classes like this are really easy to become overwhelming, but this one didn't. It was a lot of work, but I didn't feel like a Hebrew with a pyramid to build. 

What were the greatest strengths of this instructor?
His mustache is awesome.

The Internet Has Ruined My Future

I have a lot of homework to do this week as finals are coming up. So naturally that means I've been procrastinating and wasting a lot of time on the internet. My evening activities started with this picture:

Via Buzzfeed

That did it for me. I then spent about 30 minutes looking up the original painting to which I found more time wasting splendor. The painting is by Rembrandt, and I was browsing his other paintings to see if they were weird too. Here's what happened instead of homework.

Images via Wikipedia

My 5 Rules If You Want My Help With Your Crafties

I'm not sure why, but people often ask for my help/advice for their crafties. (Crafties-Artsy schmidt. I can't define it any clearer than that.) Let me tell you something right now. When you ask a Graphic Design major to help you, we need to set some rules. Agreed? Agreed. Anyways here are my rules for me helping you without ending up being homicidally annoyed by you.

1. Listen to my advice.
Not to sound superior or anything, but I have some pretty good advice. Because, ya know I'm only paying thousands of dollars to learn what colors look good and what fonts aren't stupid. If I tell you something about your font/colors/whatever you should probably listen. Because of the cheddar I'm tossing to help you not look like an idiot (notice how gangsta I am). If you're not gonna listen to me, fine. Don't ask for my help if you're not going to listen to me. Because then you are breaking my next rule.

2. Don't waste my time.
There is nothing more frustrating than spending hours on something for someone, only for them to tell you everything looks good and then they turn around and change everything. If you don't like something, tell me. I'm an art major. I'm really used to my stuff being critiqued. I'm extremely hard to offend, but am really easy to annoy. Keep that in mind, because I feel that is true of most designers/artists. I'm extremely busy doing nothing, so don't waste my obviously valuable time. Well, I do nothing and have panic attacks when I wake up and can't figure where or who I am(save me Lorazepam!). Really busy. 

3. Don't give me complete creative freedom.
By this I mean, don't give me some paper and say "draw something I like" without telling me what it is that you like. I'm not a mind reader. At least give me something general to work with, and I am more than willing to help you with the specifics if you're not painfully irritating. I need a direction to go in to create something for you that you will like. If it's just something I'm doing because I feel like it or it's an assignment then I am going by my preferences. I guarantee that your preferences are not the same as mine (unless you really dig cats wearing sunglasses. They think they're people!).  

4. Never ask me to replicate/use copyrighted material.
Guys. It's copyrighted for a reason. When you make something, and someone else claims that they did it, how are you not enraged? Your time and energy is put into something, but someone that likes it claims it as theirs. That is the worst. That applies to fonts, pictures, whatever. I am actually creating some fonts right now, and let me tell you something. They are hard and extremely time consuming. To use someone's font to sell something(or whatever) without giving them credit/money is crap. That's like saying, "Hey I really like this painting you did, and I'm going to take it and use it everywhere and give you zero credit without your permission." Some people are extremely kind and let you use/have their work without paying them anything or asking for credit to be given to them. Generally, I'm not one of those people. I want credit for the things I have done (except for ripping the towel rack off the wall that one time) just like everyone else. As a designer/artist I want credit for my work, so people will hire/commission me to do work for them. Because I need money for stupid things like food and medicine(I am deeply disturbed and must be medicated).

5. Don't be a jerk. 
If I'm (or someone else) doing something for you, you automatically owe them/me some respect. I could be staring at the wall and having a grand time, but I am using that time to help you. This pretty much applies to everything though. Do you really think that waitress wants to spend her time with you? Obviously not, since she's being paid, but she still has to put up with your crap. It's like that. The nicer you are, the more motivated I am to produce something of quality for you. If I like you, I will go beyond that, and I feel that is true for everyone. But if you're going to be a grouchy slut bag about it, I promise you will not get my best work. Nobody wants to feel unappreciated, and that especially applies to something that a lot of time is dedicated to. Overall, just don't be a jerk and I won't be one either.

The Time I Shot a Moth in the Face

That's right guys. It's happened again. I have shot another insect in the face. In case you didn't read about the last insect I shot in the face check that out here. Anyways, this time I was trying to go to sleep, and was incredibly comfortable. I imagine I had a big stupid grin on my face, since I was so warm and comfortable. 

Complete with bed hair.

Then I heard it. Thumping. "Oh just ignore it. You're far too comfortable to deal with this nonsense." That's what I thought. The thumping continued, and it got louder. Finally my rage limit had peaked. I flew out of my bed and searched wildly for my airsoft pistol. I finally found it under a mountain of blankets, and furiously loaded it with pellets. And then I waited. 

More bed hair.

I was sitting upright in my bed, waiting for the stupid moth to show it's ugly face. Finally it did, and I watched it fly around my room like a cat. I'm fairly certain that my eyes went very catlike during this, and I was in a sitting position just waiting to attack. 

This is also how I look at the end of every Walking Dead episode.

Finally it landed on my curtains. This was my moment. In one bound I leaped onto my desk right next to my curtains. As I was raising my airsoft gun slowly, I saw the moth slowly turning it's head with big vacant eyes to look at me. We stared at each other for a moment. 

It was awkward.

Then I shot it in the face. It fell on my desk as if it was a slow motion death scene. 

My pellets are green, FYI.

Once it landed it just laid there shaking it's fists at me. So I shot it in the face again, and it exploded in a cloud of dust. Poof. Problem solved. Needless to say, I slept very well that night. 

Selfie Anonymous: An Elaborate Prank

Story time: So I have a friend who really enjoys posting selfies of herself (and enjoys it even more now that she knows I hate it). I am friends with said girls sister, and since we are evil we started coming up with evil thoughts. The basic idea was to send an official looking email to Miss Selfie to "help her with her addiction". Anyways, my job was to throw together a logo while Miss Selfie's sister (Mickell is her name for future reference) wrote up the email. Here is the logo I came up with:

T-shirt material right there.

And here is what Mickell came up with:

Dear Jodi Hoyt, jodihoyt1, and jhoyt1,

We are informing you that your name has been submitted to us from a caring and concerned friend over your selfie addiction. Yes, you are a selfie addict. Now we realize your first reaction is to be in denial and wanting to hunt this "friend" down, but hear us out. Do you posses any of these qualities? If you can answer yes to one or more of these you are indeed a selfie addict.

 Do you:

*Have at least a 30% selfies to 70% other photos ratio on one of your social media sites?

*Be described as a "selfie whore" which is someone who posts multiple pictures of themselves, photographed by themselves, to one or more social media sites (i.e., Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) each week for the express purpose of getting others to comment on their pretty-ness?

*Be described as a "Selfie Queen" by your peers? A “Selfie Queen” is someone who takes an outrageous amount of selfies whether for Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat.

Now we could keep going on this list but we already know you have answered yes to at least one of these. In fact, we know without a doubt that you can answer two of these with a yes, so we figured we did not need to continue the list. When your friend contacted us they said "she is a selfie queen." So we did some research into your Instagram and found that your ratio of selfie to non selfie was 49.2% to 50.8%. We didn't even count pictures that were of just you taken by someone else, which led us to believe you are indeed a "selfie whore." You are a perfect 3 for 3 on our list which makes you a selfie addict.

We are letting you know that we are here for you. You can choose to follow our 12 step program to selfie addiction recovery. The choice is yours. If you agree to our program we will be monitoring your Facebook and Instagram to see if you are indeed following our program. To start on our program all you need to simply do is reply to this email with your complete acceptance of your selfie addiction. So look at it like a selfie confession. Once again the choice is yours and we are eagerly awaiting your reply. We have faith in your good judgment and know you will make the right choice, despite your poor judgment of thinking selfies are a good thing.

Thank you,

 Selfie Anonymous

"Helping you get over you." 

Brilliance. Pure brilliance. A little while after this was sent I received this:

She then sent me pictures of the email and here is how the rest of the conversation went down:

She also knows that I hate when she
sends me the winky face emoji. 

Needless to say, I have never been happier with myself. 

Now let me introduce you to the victim:

Hobbies include: taking selfies, telling everyone how cute they are,
and drinking chocolate milk.

And my partner in crime:

Hobbies include: Picking up dead animals, shooting at pedestrians,
and watching My 600lb Life.

5 Things That Suck About Being an Artist

Ever since I was very young I have been drawing (etc) basically non stop. That's right guys. I am self taught. Self. Taught. I really enjoy drawing/painting/whatever, mainly because I find it incredibly therapeutic and keeps me from murdering everyone. But here are 5 things that suck about being an artist. 

1. Your art is judged extremely quickly. To be able to even be remotely successful you have to make your stuff catch people's attention and they have to like it within about a 3 second time frame. Then they still have to like it when they look at it more closely. If you screw up in doing that, you're not really an artist but just some idiot who threw some paint around. You know what that means? There is virtually no room for mistakes if you want people to like your crap. You can spend 3 hours on one portion of a piece trying to get an angle right or whatever, but if you are off people will notice immediately. It doesn't matter how much time you spent doing it. In my 15ish years of drawing(etc) I have learned that people don't notice your art as much if it is done correctly and is cohesive than if you have a gigantic mistake that they can't help but stare at. It's kinda like how you don't think about how your car brakes work and how nice it is to have them until they break. You don't notice something that is well designed until it is broken. That's the other challenge. Basically, you have to create things that are good enough to be noticed almost as much as people notice something terrible. 

2. People expect art to happen quickly. Some art does happen more quickly than others for sure, but in general it all takes a long time. It takes on average about a 1/60th of a second to take a photo (excluding prep and wait time. Photographers have it rough too), but to recreate that photo by hand can take dozens of hours that people will probably only look at for a few seconds. Let's test that shall we? Here is a digital painting I did of Aiden Pearce from Watch Dogs (amazing game by the way. Kudos, Ubisoft).

Complete with my snazzy logo.

How long did you look at that photo? A few seconds? Wanna guess how long it took to do? About 10 hours. But don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting you to stare at it for 10 hours. Just give us artists some credit, yeah? Also, I'm not complaining. When I do stuff like this, it doesn't seem that long. Mainly because I probably have the worst time perception of anyone anywhere. I can stare at the wall for an hour without even realizing it. Because drain bramage (refer to Kristen's apology letter found here). 

3. All of my pants are covered in paint, and it doesn't come out. People probably think I'm some sort of hobo, especially when I am wearing a matching paint splattered shirt. I usually don't go out in public when I'm like that, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. It doesn't help that my hands are covered in paint splatters too. I'm fairly certain there have been times when I had finger paint streaks across my face. Like, 100% sure. It's not my fault my face gets itchy, and I don't think things through.

4. Injuries. You wouldn't really think this, but I get cut up all the time. I have a scar on my left knuckle that has a permanent reddish color around it, so it looks like I punched someone with only one knuckle somehow. This is from trying to open a rusted shut bucket of paint. I have another scar on my left thumb where I sliced it open while making a cardboard chair for a class (which you can read about here). This is probably why I lean more towards digital art (and thus why I am pursuing a Graphic Design career). I am extremely accident prone. Once I even got a pencil stabbed into my foot (caused by bad decisions) which resulted in me having to get surgery to pull the pencil lead out. But that's a whole other story. 

5. Being an artist revolves around being criticized. You have to take criticism. The art world isn't there to make you feel good about yourself. It's there to point out your mistakes and tell you how to fix it. It's a constant process of self improvement, and it can be hard sometimes. It's not just someone saying your art sucks, but it's someone saying your art sucks and listing off reasons as to why it sucks. This is basically why I am very hard to offend. I thrive on criticism, and you have to take it and improve if you want to produce solid work. Usually it's hard because you know that what you are told sucks is true. I figure you can either slap on your sulk pants, or you can figure out what the problem is and work on it. Sometimes criticism isn't verbal, which is why I always watch the face of whoever I am showing my art to. Their very first expression when they see it is all I need. Usually when someone likes it they raise their eyebrows a bit and their mouth hangs open a little. If they don't like it, it's the opposite. Their mouth goes in a mean little line and their eyebrows go down. This isn't true for everyone, but I have noticed that it is true for most people. Eventually, you do this to yourself. Before I finalize any of my art I do not look at it for several hours. Then I look at it again, and pay attention to where my eyes go and what it is I notice first. If I don't look at what I intended to be the focal point first, then I will spend hours fixing it or even start over. First impressions are always the most important. Basically this is the reaction I aim for:

All in all though, I love the art world. Probably because of how mean everyone is to each other. I find it amusing and it gives me an excuse to be rude. There is always someone who hates your art, or maybe hates your art because they hate your guts and wish you would get smashed by a rogue piano. It really doesn't matter as long as you like what you do, and are open minded enough to accept advice for improvement.