Movies with Lindsay: Paranormal Activity the Marked Ones

So I went to this movie with my sister, Kristen not too long ago. I have thoughts. They are not good. The best part of this movie was when a girl in the theater sneezed really stupidly ("Peeehhh!!!") and all 5 people at the movie laughed at her. Really, that was the best part. So this movie has been called the Latino Paranormal Activity, which is probably because it is so stuffed with racial stereotypes I could barf. Or something. Here are some of my issues with this movie.

#1. The dumb friend who can't speak Spanish at one point, and is suddenly fluent later on.

"Que?"

This fool is a fool. A fooly foolish fool. The foolyest fool of all the fools. At the beginning of the movie you can estimate his IQ by how he wears his hat and his constant vacant expression (as seen above). As suggested in the giant bold lettering above, he cannot speak Spanish at the start of the movie as he very clearly said to the Spanish only speaking grandma who yammers on about something to him. The main character (whom I call Snout) always has to translate for him. However later on in the movie Grandma Spanish is panicking and speaking in Spanish very fast which he miraculously understands and responds to in fluent Spanish, no problem. I'm guessing the creators of this disastrous movie forgot what they put in their own movie somehow. Or possibly a gang of monkeys made this movie, which is very possible based on the bizarre story line and gaping plot holes.

#2. This scene:

P.S. This is Snout.

I didn't get this scene. Basically, Snout goes into the bathroom and records himself (for some reason) pulling goopy strings out of his eyes. Why is he recording this? I do this every Friday. Totally normal right? Also, what went through his head when he decided to bring the camera into the bathroom with him? Here is my guess:"My eyes hurt, but I also might need to take a GIANT poo and I want to record it and narrate how it made me feel. Also, I bet there's strings in my eyes. I can make a wicked dating video with that." Of course, the strings in the eyes lead to this:

"Selfie!"

#3. The bite.

"Psh. I don't need to see a doctor or anything. That's just stupid."
 

So Snout gets bitten by something, and for some reason didn't feel when he was, you know, freaking bitten. By the looks of it, I'd say Gollum bit him, but that's just my opinion. Also, if you woke up with a disgusting looking freak bite on your arm, wouldn't you go to the doctor or something? Or at least ask Grandma Spanish about it? Maybe it happens a lot. Maybe his retainer that he doesn't own fell out of his mouth during the night and bit him. No one will ever know.

Overall, this movie was really stupid and didn't make much sense. Also, as all the other Paranormal Activity movies have, it left me with one question that is yet to be answered. Why are they recording this crap? Seriously? Who does that? Also I was laughing at Snout throughout the whole movie, so maybe I missed something. Whatever. Just whatever.