Interviewing Kristen

So I needed to interview someone for my Communications class so I chose to interview Kristen. Here is her responses (in red):

Why did you choose this career path?

Good question. I decided to be a cat food tester because really, I get to try out awesome food and get paid a bundle for it. And it’s really nice I get to try the new flavors before anyone else does! How exciting is that?

Why do you feel that Criminal Justice is important society? What does in contribute or take away from society?

Well sir, I feel that the CJ system is totally not important at all. I think we should have no rules.

Who is your biggest inspiration?

Murry from Sesame Street. He is that fluffy orangish red guy if you didn’t know. Sometimes, his arms are uneven. Like he is wearing a shirt but one arm is like half a foot higher than the other, you know?

Who or what inspired you to pursue this career?

That would have to go to Ovejeta—Murry’s sheep on Sesame Street. I don’t understand a word s/he says. Actually, now that I am writing this, I have no idea what gender that sheep is. Weird.

What parts of your life have influenced you the most in your career?

I actually don’t remember much of my life so I guess yesterday.

What is your goals in your career choice?

To grow cat whiskers like all my other colleagues.

What do you want people to gain from working with you?

A sense of happiness yet fear at the same time. If people were always happy where would we be? We would be thirsty! Very thirsty!

Is there anything else you want to add?

Yes, just one thing….MEOW!!!!

Video Games with Lindsay: Cause of Death Episode 1

Cause of Death. What can I say. This game is very fun and massively addicting. Here is the first episode in review.

You start off as the murderer's victim, which is always an empowering position. Once you run away from the murderer's lair you discover that you are on the deck of a ship. You are then given a choice. Threaten the murderer of plead with him. I chose to threaten him and the snarky little jerk replied with this:

Thanks a-hole. 

I mean he could be a little nicer. But I guess that's a murderer for you. Since this wasn't flattering my soon to be dead character had quite the insult up her sleeve.

Clever right?

Since the little dummy can't win her life with words, this happened:

The cries of the dead little sea lion.

The next day, little sea lion is found floating around by some sea heathen and is reported to the police. You then play the game as Detective Mal Fallon, who goes to examine corpsy the clown and is bombarded by a woman taking pictures. You are then given two choices of what to say:

I think the best choice is obvious.

The rude woman rudely shut you up and introduces herself as:

Mr. Fallon asks if he can call her Nat for short and he gets this reply:

"Let me stab you in the stomach while I'm here."

Rude. So very rude. After a while you receive a lead to a club. On the drive "Special Agent Williams" and Mal have a great conversation. Mal discovers that "Special Agent Williams" pissed off her boss, and as punishment she has to work on the case in the game. Mal tactfully asks his burning question:

Nailed it.

There wasn't really anything else of note in the first episode of this game. Overall, I liked this episode and plan to play more. Stay tuned for the review of the second episode! Over and out. (Kachow!)

Movies with Lindsay: Toy Story 3

Because I live with a small child, I have seen this movie a million times. I could seriously write the script from memory. But, for a review I have several favorite moments and characters in this movie. The first: the drunken lazy eyed baby that lives in the bathroom.

"I know nothing but pain."

This baby is seriously the worst toy ever. I mean look at it's face! Who wants a lazy eyed hungover baby that can turn it's head around in a matter of milliseconds? The picture above almost makes the big ugly baby appealing. Let's try this one:

"I know where you keep the gun."

Creepy right? The next problem that I find with this film is the scene where Lotso is thrown into the dumpster and one of the stupid alien toys gets caught in the dumpster somehow. When Woody releases the dumb little toy, Lotso mysteriously grabs Woddy's ankle. I assume that the evil bear is some sort of witch and can levitate, using his walking stick as a wand.

"I'll curse your children!"

I also love in the dumpster scene where Lotso punches the big drunkard of a baby with his cane (or wand as it is secretly known) in the stomach as hard as he possibly can. What would have made his cruelty even more real to the viewer is if the hungover infant would have projectile vomited onto Lotso. But that's just me. So that's that for this review. Overall Toy Story 3 is an alright movie. I liked it the first time I saw it, but now it has become a routine event in my life, so I no longer have any feelings towards it.

Video Games with Lindsay: Resident Evil 4 (Wii)

Ah Resident Evil 4. Overall one of the greatest games for the Wii. However there are some things that I have comments on. First up, the chainsaw maniacs:

"Let's cuddle."

The chainsaw maniacs are one of the most terrifying characters in this game. While playing I came across some chainsaw maniacs. So naturally I shot it in the face with the Mine Gun (The gun that shoots mine darts that have delayed explosions). They're knocked down, but evidently they have a face of steel, because they fall down and get back up. With their chainsaw still running. Next weapon to try is the missile launcher. Still takes an enormous amount of ammo. The creators of this game obviously want to display their ultimate power over the gamers life by throwing in chainsaw wielding cockroaches that take 3 nuclear explosions to kill.

Next up: The Iron Maidens

Hugs anyone?

The Iron Maiden is by far the most terrifying creature in the game. When I first came across this creature I didn't see it. I heard it. The sound of the Iron Maiden breathing is the most terrifying noise in video game history. Then when it finally makes it's way around the corner, looking like it's walking on a rolling pin, it is difficult to kill it. Though, the infinite missile launcher makes short work of them. Even with an infinite missile launcher, the Iron Maiden is the most terrifying and monstrously ugly creature in history.

Next: Ashley Graham

"I'm terrible!"

Ashley has to be the worst character ever. She is completely useless. Besides being useless she is ALWAYS in the way. You want to break a barrel with your knife? Guess who jumps in front of the knife? Yep that's right. Ashley Graham. Shooting something? This hideous little chipmunk will stick her nose in your gun barrel at the last second. BAM! You failed your mission. Game over.

Next: Ramon Salazar

Ramon Salazar has to be the most annoying villain of all times. He has a shrill voice, which is similar to a banshee on fire. He may look pretty wimpy, but he's quite the opposite as he transforms into a man eating plant of some sort and can kill you with one hit, as he rips your head clean off. His bodyguards are just as bad, as they also like to slice your head off.  He truly gives midgets a bad name.

Next: Ada Wong

"No one will ever understand my purpose in this game."

Ada Wong has some serious issues. First she is on a island full of parasitic zombies IN A DRESS. What possibly went through her head when she decided to wear a dress to the zombie parade will forever be a mystery to me. Perhaps she has a thing for young male zombies that have absolutely no control over their strong desire to kill everything possible. Ada really had no purpose in this game. It could have done just fine without her in it, as she has absolutely no value to this game. My guess is that she is a mentally challenged wannabe zombie queen that is starving for attention. Makes sense to me.