The Internet Has Ruined My Future

I have a lot of homework to do this week as finals are coming up. So naturally that means I've been procrastinating and wasting a lot of time on the internet. My evening activities started with this picture:

Via Buzzfeed

That did it for me. I then spent about 30 minutes looking up the original painting to which I found more time wasting splendor. The painting is by Rembrandt, and I was browsing his other paintings to see if they were weird too. Here's what happened instead of homework.

Images via Wikipedia

My 5 Rules If You Want My Help With Your Crafties

I'm not sure why, but people often ask for my help/advice for their crafties. (Crafties-Artsy schmidt. I can't define it any clearer than that.) Let me tell you something right now. When you ask a Graphic Design major to help you, we need to set some rules. Agreed? Agreed. Anyways here are my rules for me helping you without ending up being homicidally annoyed by you.

1. Listen to my advice.
Not to sound superior or anything, but I have some pretty good advice. Because, ya know I'm only paying thousands of dollars to learn what colors look good and what fonts aren't stupid. If I tell you something about your font/colors/whatever you should probably listen. Because of the cheddar I'm tossing to help you not look like an idiot (notice how gangsta I am). If you're not gonna listen to me, fine. Don't ask for my help if you're not going to listen to me. Because then you are breaking my next rule.

2. Don't waste my time.
There is nothing more frustrating than spending hours on something for someone, only for them to tell you everything looks good and then they turn around and change everything. If you don't like something, tell me. I'm an art major. I'm really used to my stuff being critiqued. I'm extremely hard to offend, but am really easy to annoy. Keep that in mind, because I feel that is true of most designers/artists. I'm extremely busy doing nothing, so don't waste my obviously valuable time. Well, I do nothing and have panic attacks when I wake up and can't figure where or who I am(save me Lorazepam!). Really busy. 

3. Don't give me complete creative freedom.
By this I mean, don't give me some paper and say "draw something I like" without telling me what it is that you like. I'm not a mind reader. At least give me something general to work with, and I am more than willing to help you with the specifics if you're not painfully irritating. I need a direction to go in to create something for you that you will like. If it's just something I'm doing because I feel like it or it's an assignment then I am going by my preferences. I guarantee that your preferences are not the same as mine (unless you really dig cats wearing sunglasses. They think they're people!).  

4. Never ask me to replicate/use copyrighted material.
Guys. It's copyrighted for a reason. When you make something, and someone else claims that they did it, how are you not enraged? Your time and energy is put into something, but someone that likes it claims it as theirs. That is the worst. That applies to fonts, pictures, whatever. I am actually creating some fonts right now, and let me tell you something. They are hard and extremely time consuming. To use someone's font to sell something(or whatever) without giving them credit/money is crap. That's like saying, "Hey I really like this painting you did, and I'm going to take it and use it everywhere and give you zero credit without your permission." Some people are extremely kind and let you use/have their work without paying them anything or asking for credit to be given to them. Generally, I'm not one of those people. I want credit for the things I have done (except for ripping the towel rack off the wall that one time) just like everyone else. As a designer/artist I want credit for my work, so people will hire/commission me to do work for them. Because I need money for stupid things like food and medicine(I am deeply disturbed and must be medicated).

5. Don't be a jerk. 
If I'm (or someone else) doing something for you, you automatically owe them/me some respect. I could be staring at the wall and having a grand time, but I am using that time to help you. This pretty much applies to everything though. Do you really think that waitress wants to spend her time with you? Obviously not, since she's being paid, but she still has to put up with your crap. It's like that. The nicer you are, the more motivated I am to produce something of quality for you. If I like you, I will go beyond that, and I feel that is true for everyone. But if you're going to be a grouchy slut bag about it, I promise you will not get my best work. Nobody wants to feel unappreciated, and that especially applies to something that a lot of time is dedicated to. Overall, just don't be a jerk and I won't be one either.