Movies with Lindsay: Immortals

Not too long ago my sister Kristen and I decided to see the movie Immortals in the theater just for kicks and giggles.

 Turns out this movie wasn't all that giggle inducing. Don't get me wrong, it was a great movie but some things threw me for a loop. First off was the villain of the movie. What is up with his helmet? I mean seriously. Of all of the intimidating helmets that he could have chosen he decided to pick this:

"Red Lobster gift cards for everybody! But first you must die."

If I were a villain I would not go with the lobster hat. Personally, from a distance I would think that he was a really pointy rabbit with some serious issues. I think that this helmet also makes it very tempting to just stab his face rather than be afraid of him. However, his sissy sense of fashion does not make him any nicer, as he pokes peoples eyeballs until they bleed and the person keels over and dies and has his goons smash people's crotches with a hammer. Speaking of goons, check this guy out:

"You having fun yet you little biotch!?!?"

This guy is a pure pile of psycho mixed with heavy breathing. Even after having his chest repeatedly smashed with his own club, he just laid there breathing heavily like an over excersized beached whale. Eventually the hero of the story (Theseus) sliced his abnormally large head off. That takes care of his lungs being in hyper-drive. Next up on the butcher block; this lady:

"I'm weird!"

My problem with her is how quickly she was willing to show her bottom to the camera. And what a majestically big bottom it was. Here it is:

Huge, isn't it?

My theory is that butt lady was preparing to rip off her dress, so she had some velcro to hold it on until she thought it was a good time to sit on the camera with her bare bum. Desperate much? I'd say yes. My other theory about this scene is that they hired some homeless pervert to film her Texas sized butt while slobbering like a rabid pig while snorting happily. Seems logical right?

Overall, I really like this movie. I do not recommend that the squeamish or big bum haters go to this movie though. Pervs and/or steel stomachs will really enjoy this movie though. If you have a steel stomach, but you are not a perv (like me) just cover your eyes and scream loudly during the bottom scene, so not only do you not see or hear it, but you bother everyone else in the theater or room.